This week’s news that the contract for the new ‘Blue Passport’ has not gone to the current holder De La Rue ( it’s ok chaps – British Company despite the rum name ) has provided further confirmation that things aren’t what they used to be , or indeed should be in the future . Sir Bill Cash , Knight of the Shires , and protector of all things British , has taken up the cudgels . The British Blue Passport will  NOT be ‘French Navy’ if Sir Bill has anything to do with it

Poor Sir Bill has been besides himself at the revelation that the contract for the new ‘Blue Passports’ has been awarded to a French company . Sir Bill says , the French would never allow such a thing to happen .

Life turns out to be so complicated sometimes . Obviously for Sir Bill the ‘Blue Passport ‘ is symbolic of a life toiling in public service with the selfless aim of freeing his countrymen( and women no doubt – he’s a decent chap ) from the yolk of Europe . But now those European blighters are having a laugh at his expense . These procurement rules have got out off hand – and just when Sir Bill thought we were taking back control it turns out we haven’t .What’s a chap supposed to do?

Admittedly rules can be complicated sometimes . There was that unfortunate mix up in 2004-5 when he designated his daughter’s flat in Notting Hill as his ‘ second home ‘ despite owning a flat in Pimlico which was closer to the House and claimed £15000 in rent. However he sorted that all out . Now Sir Bill is set on sorting out this ‘French Navy’ nonsense .

As an advocate of free trade all Sir Bill wants to see , according to that impeccable organ the Express , is ‘free and fair competition ‘ . Clearly it’s only fair that a British Blue Passport should be made in Britain . Three cheers for Sir Bill .

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